


what did you learn tonight?

by thesummerends



Category: Brand New, Taking Back Sunday
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-07
Updated: 2006-11-07
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesummerends/pseuds/thesummerends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>adam is...promiscuous? slutty? and jesse wants him all to himself. it's awkward. and dramatic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what did you learn tonight?

**Author's Note:**

> [original summary as of 11/07/2006: "short. vague. prose type thing based off the song "archers" from the upcoming br&amp; nu album."]
> 
> intentionally, ~stylistically uncapitalized.

[ who do you carry the torch for? ]

\---

"you've got to make your decision."

headlights pass over my shoulder and briefly illuminate the inside of the car. i'm stretched out awkwardly in the backseat. his head is in my lap and i'm running my fingers through his hair. his eyes are closed and he's practically purring.

i let it happen again.

   
_(feels like we could escape, i don't mind throwing away the filthy silver song.)_  
 

we drive until we can't see the city lights reflecting off the sky anymore. i stop on the side of the road. he gives me a questioning look. i shrug back.

we sit in silence for a moment.

i open the door, get out of the car, walk over to the guardrail. he gets out and leans against the side of the car. he watches me.

i look up at the sky. i scream.

it echoes. then silence.

i turn back to him. his mouth is dropped open. he's staring at me like i'm insane.

maybe i am.

"c'mere."

he saunters over to me. i can't help but watch his hips. he's beautiful.

"try it."

he laughs. his breath comes out like smoke. i watch this piece of him float away. like too many others.

"no way."

"it's cathartic. no one can hear you out here. do it."

he gives me a skeptical look then takes a few steps away. i come up behind him and place my hands on his hips.

he screams.

i wrap my arms around him. i pull him flush against my body. i breathe him in.

i love him.

i hate him.

i need him.

he turns around and kisses me.

he doesn't love me.

i let go of him and get back in the car. i bite my lip and stare out the windshield until he gets in too.

deep breath. in and out.

i turn and look at him. he smirks.

he gets this sexy predatory look in his eyes right before he grabs a fistful of my shirt and yanks me forward. our lips collide in an intense, almost painful kiss. before i can process what's going on, he shoves me away and climbs into the backseat.

i turn and look back. he's still got that hungry gleam in his eyes.

i don't want this to happen.

i know it will anyway.

i climb over the seats after him. he grins, opens his arms, pulls me close. once again i bury my face in his neck. i lick the skin there. he tastes... warm. i gently push him so he's lying on his back, careful that he doesn't hit his head on the door handle. i crawl on top of him and kiss him. deep. intense.

he goes tense under me. he pushes me off, reaches down to the floor, picks up a bottle of...something.

"hard liquor stashed in the backseat? classy."

i sit back, lean against the opposite window, keep my eyes trained on him.

he uncaps it, takes a swig, hands it to me. i watch him lick the moisture off his lips before i hesitantly take a small sip. as soon as i'm done he grabs the bottle back. we trade it back and forth until it's empty, then let it fall to the floor again.

now the look in his eyes is absolutely fierce. he straddles my lap, hands on my shoulders, his lips and tongue working intently against my own.

i slide my hand slowly down his back, then under his shirt. it's like a trigger. we both frantically shed our clothes like snakeskins. after that it's all frantic touches and jerky movements. when we move together, it's almost like we're one person, so in synch.

i pretend he feels half as much for me as i do for him.

at the height of it i try to pull him close. i want to tell him i lovehimlusthimwanthimneedhimlivehimdiehimbreathehim. he pulls away.

when it's done he gets off me right away. he pulls on his clothes and gets out of the car.

i get dressed with my rapid heartbeat thumping in my ears. i rub a window in the fog we created on the glass and watch him smoke a cigarette outside.

i lean back. shut my eyes. sigh.

the door opens a few minutes later. he crawls in, shuts it, keeps his head down.

i lick my lips.

"i love you."

he shakes his head. he still won't look at me.

"don't."

i sigh again.

i reach out to him. my fingers brush along his arm. i expect him to pull away, but to my surprise he lays down, facing away from me, head on my leg.

i weave my fingers through his hair. i cherish every last moment i get to touch him in any way.

"i can't help it."

   
_(if you try running the maze of your lies it's too hard to save, if you've thrown out everyone.)_  
 

"jess, it doesn't have to be like--don't make it difficult."

"yes it does--you've got to pick. do you want everyone else? or do you want me?"

he gets up.

gets out of the car.

opens the front passenger door, gets in, sits down, shuts the door.

"take me home."

\---

**Author's Note:**

> in case it was confusing: the bit between the italicized lyrics was a flashback. and i~~'m really paranoid that the lyrics are wrong, because two different sites gave completely different lyrics for the two lines i used.~~ know now that one of the lyrics is wrong, but come on, I posted this before the song was even released.


End file.
